I have recently discovered a feature on blogspot that allows me to look at the statistics of my readers. I can only account for not having noticed this feature for the past year and a half by virtue of the feature being cleverly hidden by Google. After all, "stats" could clearly mean lots of things. . .
Anyway, with my award winning blog post on tomato sauce (see below), I have noticed that I have crossed double digits in readership. Woohoo! Now, either my writing has filled you all with insight, or I've picked up a few cyberstalkers. Either way, welcome to my blog!
So, give that so many of you are new to this blog, I felt it only necessary to let you in on a few secrets:
1) I am terribly, terribly liberal. I don't mean that I'm center-left, or a "New Democrat," but rather, I am extremely liberal. So much so, that if you ever wanted to know my opinion on something, you should think of what a pinko-communist-socialist would think, and you wouldn't be that far off. . .
Okay, that's not entirely true. I think guns are perfectly fine to own and operate by responsible adults. Of course, most people are morons, but if you can prove to me that you are, in fact, a morally responsible adult, then I'm okay with you owning enough weapons to supply a small to medium size army. Because guns are cool.
I also hate hippies (more based on their personal hygiene and musical choices), don't smoke pot (but completely favor legalization), believe that corporations are AMORAL not IMMORAL (there's a difference) and think that local governments are way too intrusive with their regulations (the Federal government on the other hand. . .)
2) I use swear words, often. Ever had a friend who said something so obscene that you a) cringed; and, b) laughed a bit. I am, on occasion, that friend. In my defense, I take it on good authority - Father Rankin, S.J., my 11th grade Christian Ethics teacher - that the use of words like fuck, shit, motherfucker, cocksucker, assmunch, goat-raping shittard, and other sundry words is totally sin-free. That's right people, if any of you Catholics were to walk into a confessional and tell the priest that you, in a fit of anger from stubbing your toe, shouted, "Pissfuckingsonofamotherfuckingshitknocker," the priest would, most likely, tell you that you were wasting his fucking time.
Now, don't get me wrong here. I don't use swear words in general conversation, or use them to hurt people. Rather, there are times when the use of obscene words is necessary (or funny), and rather than limit myself, I go for it with gusto.
3) I am often wrong. If you look through my backlog, there are numerous examples of posts that I simply cannot defend to this day. They are embarrassing. And no I'm not going to tell you which ones I feel bad about, and yes, this is a cheap attempt to drive up my readership numbers so that I might finally get some ad revenue for this blog (Daddy wants a new pair of shoes). To be honest, I typically write posts when I have a brief to get out at work and I need to get the creative writing juices flowing. So, there is going to be a lot of crap on this website.
Anyway, I do get things wrong, and that's why comments are not only enabled, but welcome. I will, however, remove comments that I find threatening, harassing, etc. And before anyone complains about the First Amendment, let me remind you that the 1st Amendment only applies to governmental actors, and this is not a government site. (And from the opinions expressed herein, it probably will never be.)
With all that in mind, feel free to read my blog (as if I could stop you), and enjoy.